Hay naku, read on ... winner itong write-up na ito ...grabe... kaaliw!!!
Winners Losers : From Kris to Ruffa to Gretchen(Desperate Housewives.Philippine Edition).(Or are we reaping some sort of a negative karma todeserve them?)
The month of June is a good time to review whattranspired for the firstsix months of 2007. For this edition, ConventionalWisdom is focusing onshowbiz-related matters instead of the usual politics(which in a way isalso show-biz but ……for ugly people). Read on.
Kris Aquino. Loser. While she is the innocent onein the wholeJames-Hope brouhaha, Conventional Wisdom thinks thatshe could have handledthe incident with more dignity and privacy. Onewonders why this dramaqueen wants to inflict her day-to-day saga with thewhole planet. Fromexaggerating her "life-threatening" pregnancy, tolambasting her husband inpublic ("O magsalita ka? Totoo naming pina-palayas nakita sa bahay a?"),to actually using Ninoy to promote a cake in herlatest commercial. Kris'next endorsement should neither be beer nor pastriesbut laundry detergentfor her unquenchable desire to always wash her verydirty underwear inpublic.
James Yap. Loser. One word : cad. As one writersuccinctly said : "Whatdo you expect from a provincial boy who suddenlybecame famous andwealthy?" The last time we witnessed a showbiz cadwas during GabbyConcepcion's time. James is now second in our list.Conventional Wisdom isgiving them maximum of 3 years as a couple. Kris isstarting to look moreand more mature and matronic. James is still young.Give James sometime,and after Hope - - Faith and Charity will springforth.
Moral of the story. Smoking is bad for marriage: Krishad Philip, Jameshad Hope. Conventional Wisdom can't take any More ofthis!!!
Ruffa Gutierrez / Annabelle Rama : The mother anddaughter (MAD) teamstrikes again. From a filmfest scam that made it toCNN, to Brunie-yukiscandal that merited a senate hearing, and now, thefalling out with Ylmaz- - which is desperately being peddled out asPhilippines vs. Turkey .Oppressor vs. Victim.
Ruffa Gutierrez: Loser. A desperate act from ahas-been, middle-agedB-actress who is trying to make a come-back bycapitalizing on whateverpublicity that can be squeezed out from this split.From caterwauling oneminute "Hindi ko na kaya Kuya Boy!", to coyly sayingthe following week"Ligawan nya (Ylmaz) ulit ako" to having her bornagain baptism ritescaptured on cam and then heading off to Las Vegas thefollowing week torelax and do damage control (about his marriage fiveyears ago in LasVegas). Ruffa, you're act is getting stale. Youhave become sopredictable and boring.
Annabelle Rama. Winner. For always a character thatshe is. For beingconsistent in her act and for being our constantsource of amusement.Conventional Wisdom almost fell off its chair whenthis motor-mouthfish-wife asked Dolly Ann to return the cosmetics shegave her and then,proceeded on by actually naming two unknown women onnational television topay their debts to her since she now has to take careof Ruffa and hergrandchildren : "Hoy, so and so…magbayad na kayo ngutang nyo sa akindahil marami na akong papalamunin ngayon" or somethingto that effect.Panalo talaga si Bisaya. I strongly suggest to PGMAthat we give thiswoman a postion in the government preferably as Headof our NationalDefense. Asap.
Dolly Ann Carvajal. Winner and Loser. A lot ofpeople don't like thiswoman. For one, she is not pleasing to the eye. Hergay son looks a lotbetter than she. And admit it or not, she became awriter thru herconnections ? mom and aunt. But being objectiveabout the whole thing,Conventional Wisdom thinks that Dolly Ann is on theright this time. Whycan't the mother and daughter (MAD) tandem just answerthe questions posedby Dolly Ann? Why can't Annabelle stick to the issuesinstead of pointingout something we already know : how ugly Dolly Annis.
What makes Dolly Ann a loser is her constant use ofher departed mom'slegacy and memory whenever someone would diss her out.Honey, stop hidingunder the skirt of your mom. You are not a sacredcow.
Pia Guanio. Loser. What a lousy lousy interviewer.The depth of hertalent as a host is as long as her irritating miniskirts. Do us a favorPia, ask Bossing to marry you already and then fadeinto oblivion.
Gretchen Baretto. Loser. One word : Wow. Theaffectations of LaGreta can only matched by her delusions of grandeur. From the looks ofit, she is experiencing the early on-set of a mid-lifecrisis. She has beenpicking fights left and right…with Lani Mercado, andthen with DawnZulueta. From her classic statement about the looksof her own daughter :"Naaawa nga ako dahil karamihan ng tao ang sabi kayDominique, kamukha syang tatay nya?". And now the "friendly beso-beso"lip-lock with JohnEstrada. Please explain to Conventional Wisdom - -"How can this be afriendly kiss when you and John looked so orgasmic inthat shot?
Gretchen is a classic example of "langaw nanakatungtong sa kalabaw, perofeeling mataas pa sa kalabaw." Someone shouldalready tell this woman toseek professional help. Sober up and clean your actsister. You are noParis Hilton. More like Plaster of Paris Hilton.
Cesar Montano, Richard Gomez, Manny Pacquiao, etc. -Losers. No furtherexplanations needed.
Borgy Manotoc. Loser. Please. Please. From onescandal to the next.From one basag-ulo to the next. We have enough ofyou and your sap-sapmouth face. Will someone already put this psychobehind bars?
Butch Francisco and Dolly Ann as writers. Losers. Please don't wasteprecious newspaper space writing about personalstories that nobody(repeat, nobody!) finds interesting at all. From yourmaid's antics toyour experience as a judge of Slimmers World Mr. andMs. Ek ek, to acurrent love who inspires you. Please! A tree gaveup its life to havethese newspaper printed. Have I mentioned that nobodyis interested?
Belo's Billboards. Loser. Hideous. Plain hideous. Whoever is advisingVicky (I can't call her Doctora Vicky because asOsang said, she was amere aerobics instructor before) to put out all thosemonstrosities shouldbe charged with Human Rights violations. From thedisturbing Chrismasbillboard last December, to Richard Gomez's billboardpre-campaign period,to Ai-ai's scary shot. Conventional Wisdom wouldrather stare at thebillboards of Ellen's Beauty Salon (with Ellen as themodel herself) thansee these Belo ads.
Nora Aunor. Loser. To be a has-been superstar drugdependent in yourfifties is bad enough. To be caught doing drugs inanother country isworse. To be found-out to have married another womanmany years ago for aUS green-card is worst. Ate Guy is a classicexample of a personblessed with so much talent and opportunity gone towaste.
Regine Velasquez ? Ogie Alcasid. Losers. Regine iswhat ..... .nearing 40?As someone said "from her demeanor to her utterance,Regine is trying veryvery very hard to hold on to youth." And if I mayadd, failing miserably.This home-wrecker who speaks with an Americansleng-sleng should act herage. Seeing her kilig-reaction about the admissionof Ogie made me losemy appetite for dinner. Conventional Wisdom is reallyworried that anytimesoon, Regine's face and body will collapse. From herhair extension, herfake long eyelashes, her fake nose, her man-made eyeslits, her tooth-capswith gums, and her Gluthathioned skin, her fake boobs. Last we heard, hermovie with Piolo flopped big time. Nobody wants tosee a May ? Decemberlove story anymore. Or more correctly, a May 1960 ?December 2007 loveaffair story anymore.
These are the people that are giving ConventionalWisdom constant migrainethe past months. If this trend continues untilDecember, aneurysm can'tbe far behind.
Pass this on until it reaches the following: YlmazBektas, Mother-in-lawof Gretchen., Hope, Vic Sotto, PGMA, Michelle VanSomething, LettyMagsanoc, and Gov. Vi.
***hay naku no, these are so true db??!! Well I guess that's what showbusiness is all about..."
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